Today we have our monthly appearance from our resident agony aunt, L K Jay. She’s an indie author whose niche is ghost stories and she works in education when she isn’t creating spine tingling tales. L K is a girl who has been there, done that and knows where we’re going wrong so she will be solving your problems in her own inimitable style. She’ll give you tea and sympathy while maintaining the ability to give you some straight talking.
This month, our problem is from a reader in Paris who hasn’t quite got the hang of social media etiquette yet. Let’s hear how L K would solve her issues…
I have this really huge problem and it is having a devastating effect on my life. Every time someone posts a Facebook status that is even slightly vague, I get paranoid that it’s about me. Everyone I know laughs about people doing what I do and jumping to conclusions but it’s becoming such a massive problem that I am losing a lot of friends over it. Up until recently I would confront those people about their posts, either online or in person but that just caused more trouble because they would always deny it. Now I tend to keep quiet but I end up stewing over it and it eats away at me. How can I get past this?
Dear Anon of Paris,
I’m assuming there are psychological counsellors in Paris as this is what I think you need to get over your overwhelming narcissism. Either that, or just don’t look on Facebook. I can assure you, there is no conspiracy against you on Facebook, everyone is far too self involved on there to send cryptic messages about you or sharing pictures of cats. If they want to tell you something, then they usually private message you.
Alternatively, if you live in Paris, then enjoy it. You are in one of the most beautiful cities in the world that is packed full of hot men. As I would give my eye teeth to be living there, I can assure you that if that was me, I’d be living with my unspeakably hot French husband and drinking a lot of Bordeaux in his summer residence in the Loire valley or something. I’d also be having a sizzling hot affair with the pool attendant, after all, you’re in France so it would be rude not to. This is why you don’t get a lot of French people on Facebook, the weather is nice and they have the whole relationship thing sussed. Who needs Facebook when you’re surrounded by hot French men?
This is why we rely on social media in the UK, the weather is shit and the men are appalling. Get the counselling you need for your anxiety, stop being self involved and enjoy living in gay Paris. Fuck me, I would if I was you!
L K Jay
If you have a problem you’d like L K to solve, you can anonymously leave a comment below or send us your email. Names will be deleted and all problems are published on our page as from “Anon”
What would your advice to this reader be?