Turn The tables
There’s always a way to turn the tables. Are you self-employed? Do you have a hobby like crafting? The best and most productive way to deal with sales calls is to say you’ll buy their product if they buy yours. I did try to sell my e-books to a guy from India once. He called himself Alistair. I doubt that Alistair ever did buy them but it was funny AF.
Praise the Lord
The number one best way to deal with spam callers is to get all religious on them. Find God. Tell them you’d like to take their survey but first, do they have a minute to talk about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ? Treat them to a rendition of Spirit In The Sky.
Make a new friend
Does your caller need to know what model of washing machine you own? Ask what make of dishwasher they own. If they ask what car you drive, ask what car they drive. Get to know your caller. Answers questions with questions. You never know, they might hate their job and need someone to talk to.
You could always tell them every single detail of your life. Were you in an accident that wasn’t your fault? Why, yes! I was. I stubbed my toe on the side of a vacuum cleaner my husband was using back in April 2016 and my toenail turned black. It fell off a few weeks later. I usually paint them red but I ended up painting them black for an entire summer because who wants one black toenail and the rest red? By the time you get onto the details of your first pedicure appointment after the accident, they’ll be long gone.
Tell them you’ll be with them in a minute, put on some Marilyn Manson or whatever your tunes of choice are, and put the phone next to the speaker. Go and have a cuppa. It’s not as much fun as singing to them or as lucrative as selling your products to them, but it does work.