I’m not having a very good day today. Luke isn’t well, I’ve got a to-do list the length of my arm and I’m having to cancel appointments left, right and centre to make sure I’m home for Luke. It’s hard when your child is sick because you’re worrying about them, and you also have to juggle your own life too. I do wonder if I’ll ever stop worrying about him like I do now. So, this A to Z of my Wish List is a welcome distraction today. It’s allowing me to think of things that will probably never happen, but it would be quite fun if they did. Today is N for Nomination.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if I was so good at something that I got nominated for an award? I mean, I’ve never been THAT good at anything. And I wouldn’t really mind what I was getting nominated for, so long as I was gaining recognition for being really great at something that I’ve done or for working my arse off.
I’ve resigned myself to the idea that I’ll never win any writing awards. As much as I love writing and see it as my lifestyle, not just a job or a hobby, I am well aware that I’m not ever going to win any awards. I did wonder if I was good enough at blogging, until I joined some Facebook groups that bring bloggers together and I saw that everyone else is doing so much better than I am. Maybe not then.
Of course, I could always just nominate myself for something. There’s a blogging award I could nominate myself for, but I’m one of those people who doesn’t really like holding their hand up and being counted. It’s alright if someone else does it for me, but I couldn’t do it myself. Nah, that would just be weird. I feel self-conscious enough posting my own blogs to Reddit. And that’s just Reddit. I actually put my name forward for Feedspot‘s list of top Scottish blogs and I reached number 86 last year. I’m currently number 85. That felt so awesome, I can’t even explain it.
I’ve won one award in my life. It was my primary school’s junior creative writing trophy in 1988 for a story about a barbecue I apparently attended. It was supposed to be a piece of life writing but as I remember it, it was more creative. I’ve always felt guilty about that. I never won anything else after that. I feel like I peaked too soon.
So, although I would love to be nominated for something and have my hard work recognised, I do wonder if this is an item that will always stay on my wish list, just like Interlagos. Who knows, maybe I’ll try to put that guilt to bed and recognise my own hard work by nominating myself for something. This is 2019. Nobody needs to wait for anyone else to make their dreams come true.
Have you ever been nominated for anything?
Today over on my author site, I’m talking about November in my A to Z of Nanowrimo and tomorrow here on Rock Paper Spirit, I’ll be writing about Olbia, one of the most beautiful places in the world.