• changing therapists
    Mental Health,  Personal

    Putting Out The Fire

    Disclaimer: I am not a therapist and cannot offer anyone any advice. I can only tell my own story. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I have been struggling a lot lately and part of the problem is a lack of support. I’m not yet ready to talk about everything that’s been happening and there are a few things I can’t talk about for legal reasons. They’ll be shared as soon as the person who triggered this problem has had his trial but for now, I can talk about my own life and the challenges I’m facing as a result of the trauma. I decided to consult a…

  • brothers grimm sleep story calm app
    Mental Health,  Personal

    Why I Think My Best Ideas Come At 4am

    Some of you might already have read Friday’s blog about how I was looking for a fresh start. And how I am going to get it. Well, here’s what happened. On Friday morning at 4am I had this weird determination that I haven’t felt in a long time. Almost like I knew that this was what I had to do. I can’t explain it. I then listened to an audio book to try and get back to sleep. It worked and by the time I woke up again at 7am, I wasn’t feeling it. But the vibe was so strong at 4am that I decided to listen to that part…

  • Mental Health,  Personal

    Coming Face to Face With A Goblin

    I came face to face with my goblin the other day. Well, one of them. She wasn’t looking her best. The powerful, woman who usually has her shit together was dishevelled and struggling. What bothers me is that she has so much power and influence over my life and others. The decisions she makes can be live changing, life saving or life ending. She has the future of thousands in her hands on a daily basis and yet there she stood, her ponytail falling out, bits of hair pointing in various directions, wearing a jacket that smelled like baby sick and struggling to get a baby’s pram through a door.…

  • Mental Health,  Personal

    When Rock Bottom = Fresh Start

    If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you’ll know how hard things have been for the last four months. Actually, probably more like four years, but let’s keep this in perspective and deal with the here and now. I would consider this week to be my rock bottom point. Everything that can go wrong, has gone wrong, including being locked out of my own blog. I got access again, obviously. But this morning I woke up at 4am after a really weird dream, which I can’t even remember now. I got up, got a drink and then when I lay back down, I had a quote I heard years ago…

  • Mental Health,  Student Life

    The Quest For The Magic Shield – Or How I’m Struggling To Find Support As A Student

    I feel like I’m in one of those adventure games where I can see the special item I need – let’s say it’s a shield – and there is a path across the foggy woods to where the shield is. It should be easy to pass, but every time I try, there’s goblins jumping out in front of me, shouting the most hurtful things. They have friendly faces and they’re supposed to be helping me, but due to some weird glitch in the game, they’re hindering my path. Sometimes they throw rocks at me, but the rocks don’t do any physical harm. They just upset me. The goblins make me…